I’m Touched

When I think about touch, the first thing that comes to my mind is physical touch. Touching that is real and concrete, like my fingers touching the keys of the keyboard. Physical touch can have different sensations and emotions attached to it. Touch can make me feel happy, excited, stimulated, even uncomfortable, hurt or scared. A massage makes me feel relaxed but pain makes me feel just the opposite, even though both involve physical touch.  

Touch doesn’t have to be taken so literally. I can ‘be touched’ by something and ‘keep in touch’ with my friends. Diane Ackerman says that, “We call our emotions feelings, and we care most deeply when something ‘touches’ us” (70). This kind of emotional touch can be either positive or negative, and create a wide variety of emotions. The worst feelings I’ve ever had was when I was hurt by someone I love, which made me feel angry and disheartened. In contrast, I feel my best when I can express my emotions through dancing. When I dance I feel strong, confident and carefree. Because dancing brings out desireable emotions such as cheeriness and pleasure, I often use it to relax very different, contrasting emotions of hopelessness and distress.

Just recently I was faced with a situation that made me feel at my worst. The situation involved my boyfriend, another girl, and alcohol, so of course nothing good was going to come from it. My emotions were spinning out of control, and I could barely think straight enough to figure out what they were. At the time I was feeling so lost and confused, sad, let down, incredibly disappointed, and of course mad as Hell. I couldn’t even find words to express all of these feelings that I had welling up inside of me. Some of them were released in the countless number of tears I cried, but most of them stayed inside of me torturing my heart. I tried to talk to my friends about how I was feeling, but I couldn’t seem to find the words to say to make them understand. They were kind and consoling buy not very empathetic.

 If I am to feel what another person is feeling by relating to his emotions, what I am experiencing is called empathy. New Scientist Tech magazine says that people who have good gut instincts for what other people are feeling have a condition called “Mirror-touch-synaesthesia, it shows they are also especially sensitive to other people’s emotions” (p 14). It would be nice to have a friend with this condition, someone who could relate to my emotions and help me push through them. But since I don’t, I have to find a way to get my emotions out. The best and only way I know how to express myself is through dancing.

I feel most in touch with myself and my emotions when I’m dancing. Dancing touches me, even if I am only watching someone else. It’s as if through their movements, they’re explaining emotions that I can understand. Dancing allows me to release my emotions, and it’s also an automatic mood lifter. I don’t have to be in a bad mood to dance though, dancing when I’m already relaxed and carefree is such an exhilarating rush, true euphoria for me. When I dance, my feet fly me away to a place all my own, where nothing can go wrong. I love to feel the music in me, and my calloused toes against the smooth hardwood. There are times I feel pain as my shoes rub my feet into raw blisters, or I stretch my muscles past their limit. When I dance I feel different muscles being worked, as one releases it grinds against another as it contracts. It’s the perfect detox to rid my body of overwhelming stress and any other negative feelings. Martha Graham, the founder of modern dance said it best, “Movement never lies. It is a barometer telling the state of the soul’s weather to all who can read it” (Quote Garden.com).When I dance I feel carefree, larger than life, exhilarated, and completely empowered and beautiful. Dancing is my short-cut to happiness.           

Works Cited

Ackerman, Diane. A Natural History of the Senses. New York: Vintage Books, 1990.

Guillemets, Terri. “Quotations About Dancing.” Quote Garden. 18 Mar. 1998. http://www.quotegarden.com/dancing.html

New Scientist Tech. Sense of Touch is Crucial for Empathy. Issue 2609, 23 June 2007.